I’ve recently been tasked with running the BTG social media page. I wasn’t sure initially what the strategy should be, but I’ve realized that it’s actually just a great opportunity for me to share the inner workings of my brain.
Because I post a lot of content about mental health, the algorithm pushes a lot of other people’s content onto my feed, and it’s made me realize that there are some really big issues regarding messaging and public perception of mental illness.
I recently wrote the post below:
If the only thing you do when someone takes their own life is to say:
“Be kind”
“We just need to break the stigma”
“People need to reach out”
Or my favourite…
“It’s ok not to be ok”
then you’re actually virtue signalling and victim-blaming.
Sorry, but not sorry. I know you mean well, but I’m happy to tell you why…
Be kind… People were kind to me, it didn’t fix a single thing. Suggesting that just being kind to people will eradicate mental illness diminishes the severity of it as an actual illness. You don’t cure cancer by being kind to people who have it.
“We need to break the stigma” Ahhh ok, so even though I’d confidentially told my health care professional about my condition, the answer must actually have been that if I was able to tell everyone about my illness without any kind of embarrassment, then that would have fixed it? Interestingly, when I had ulcerative colitis and pooped myself 100 times a day, I got given effective treatment regardless of whether or not I found it embarrassing to tell people about it.
People need to reach out: Do they really?
Reach out where? To friends? Who have no medical training on how to support them?
To the GP? Who’ll put them on a waitlist for talking therapy and provide medication that subdues the symptoms but does not address the cause.
To crisis services? Who’ll get them out of crisis but then have zero funding or powers to do anything more?
Do we think if they’d have “bothered” to reach out then they wouldn’t have died?
Most people who make a final decision did reach out, they just found nothing there. So please don’t suggest that people not reaching out is the problem.
And finally, IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK.
No, it’s not actually, because if you’re not ok, lots of lovely well-meaning people will make lots of seemingly helpful comments, but no one will do anything. You’ll be left to slip down the gaps until you might be one of 115 people a week in the UK who is lost.
Please, please, please, campaign the new Government to push funding into evidence-based early intervention mental health care and crisis services. Look into which charities provide education and SERVICES for mental health, and donate to them, not just the ones that “raise awareness.”
Keep an eye on your friends and do your research to know how to support them and where to send them if they’re struggling.
You wouldn’t tell someone “it’s ok to have cancer,” please don’t do it to us.
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